Creating what I can Create

Those who express a desire to begin praying but don’t know where to start are told: “Pray how you can pray not how you can’t.” Advice perhaps suggesting you don’t let perception of convention(s) or expectation, deter you from natural intuition or self directed spiritual exploration, essentially don’t allow prior rationalization to stop you before you can get your own personal flow started. Something creatively terminal I can fall foul of … usually because a busy family life makes me prioritize other things ahead of my own selfish concerns. Like all writers I know deadlines just jump up over the horizon at me and I succumb to thinking about what it is that's expected from whatever piece I'm working on, rather than just enjoying the act of creation itself... you live and learn, sometimes you don't even live... other times you post a quirky photo on yer blog and get almost 350 hits in a couple of days and still don't learn..sometimes you write something thats weirder than a bowl of pink custard and yellow strawberries.. and the learning goes off to see an ancient ring fort.

In a creative circumstance, framing work within cerebral conventions and community expectations, irrespective of source, harbors the potential for erosion, detraction and devastatingly effective blocking of creativity. It's pretty difficult to be a rebel and burn up new ground if I dont ever break any rules.. if I break too many.. I'd become 'difficult' or 'challenging' and from what I've observed it usually takes death or major medically based acquiescence before sufficient 'controls' are in place to ensure that general society confers recognition of conformity upon any individual that rejects such sheepish predetermined expectation. Writing is hard enough without adding all that socio-political psychological connotation - but then Orwell said all writing was political - one must assume all publishing also embraces similar concerns.

Here's one of my heros 'Flann O Brien' on the rejection of his novel 'at swim two birds:

“As a genius, I do not expect to be readily understood but you may be surprised to know that my book is a definite milestone in literature, completely revolutionises the English novel and puts the shallow pedestrian English writers in their place. Of course I know you are prejudiced against me on account of the IRA bombings. To be serious, I can’t quite understand your attitude to stuff like this. It is not a pale-faced sincere attempt to hold the mirror up and has nothing in the world to do with James Joyce . . . so, please do not send me any more sneers at my art.”

I'm enjoying the freedom of this website and my lack of editorial lasso at present - the future is another matter all together and work /study a third... (glad I spelt that right).. I'm planning to start posting my research up on this site so that will undoubtedly mean actually doing some conscious design rather than letting the thing evolve as I'd been inclined to do...